My heart is broken.
It's really good though.
Something about the absolute presence of my Savior in the midst of a storm is far greater than any presence on a sunny day.
We don't deserve this love,
but oh man,
let's grab onto it.
Life is worth sharing.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
He loved us first.
Have you ever been the first lover?
What I mean is, have you ever loved someone completely before they loved you?
If you are a parent, you can probably say yes.
I am learning about loving someone first and experiencing the tenderness that comes with it.
It's remarkably painful, but does not destroy hope and life as most pain does. Pain is often the foreshadow to, or symptom of, something worse than the pain itself. For example, when I have a masquito bite, it itches because there is a substance that has been injected into my skin and my body knows that it needs to be removed. My body urgently responds with fingernails to try and uncover the alien substance.
But the pain I am talking of is good pain. It is the kind that I think God feels often. I just sat in my room alone for a while because I didn't want to be around anyone. I was feeling a pain in my chest because there's a person who I know feels less for me than I do for them.
The good thing that this pain has taught me is that my love is for the other person more than it is for me. Most of the people I have deeply fallen in love with had been showing me that they loved me more than I loved them. It's easy to love those who clearly love you, but to love those who don't, calls for supernatural assistance.
As I prayed and thought about things, I began to remember the scriptures about how Love is not that we loved God, but that he loved us. This now makes more since than ever before.
When we love first, we are risking all that we have. We are putting our entire heart out there and hoping that it is met with the same kind of offering. But often, humans respond to our offering with things that look nothing like hearts and they pierce ours. But God will never do this. God has offered all that he is- FIRST- and we responded with nails. We jammed nails into the deepest cavities of God's heart and his blood was spilled. He has forgiven us for the things we do to his heart, all that we may give him ours.
I am learning to give him what I have, and I am so glad that he is able to take the bad stuff. When I offer my heart to him, he receives something covered in shrapnel and filled with poison. He is able to clean out the things that will not mix with his heart and make my heart one with his. It's like when I have a big ball of clean play dough and my buddy, Drew has a small one with rocks and dirt mixed into it. I have learned to clean out the dirt before pressing the mush together to form one ball. I don't make Drew clean it before returning it to me. But I do help him understand how to keep dirt from ever entering it.
If we learn to offer our hearts only to God, we will then see our hearts offered to others. This is because God is a God who loves his people and loves to give himself to them. When we are a part of his heart, and he gives his heart to others, we are given to others. We will certainly still be pierced, maybe even more than before, but at least we get to be pierced with God instead of away from him. We are told to take up our cross. Let's not be surprised when we see what it is used for.
When we meet with Jesus, we love. When we love, we give. When we give, we risk pain, that an other may be delivered from their own. When I nail a nail into Christ's heart, I no longer have the nail.
God is waiting in his room
for his people to realize
that He is in love with them.
Let's go together to become one with him and therefore each other.
Let's respond to His holy offering with our broken one.
Psalm 51.17
(Read all of Psalm 51, it's ridiculously good.)
What I mean is, have you ever loved someone completely before they loved you?
If you are a parent, you can probably say yes.
I am learning about loving someone first and experiencing the tenderness that comes with it.
It's remarkably painful, but does not destroy hope and life as most pain does. Pain is often the foreshadow to, or symptom of, something worse than the pain itself. For example, when I have a masquito bite, it itches because there is a substance that has been injected into my skin and my body knows that it needs to be removed. My body urgently responds with fingernails to try and uncover the alien substance.
But the pain I am talking of is good pain. It is the kind that I think God feels often. I just sat in my room alone for a while because I didn't want to be around anyone. I was feeling a pain in my chest because there's a person who I know feels less for me than I do for them.
The good thing that this pain has taught me is that my love is for the other person more than it is for me. Most of the people I have deeply fallen in love with had been showing me that they loved me more than I loved them. It's easy to love those who clearly love you, but to love those who don't, calls for supernatural assistance.
As I prayed and thought about things, I began to remember the scriptures about how Love is not that we loved God, but that he loved us. This now makes more since than ever before.
When we love first, we are risking all that we have. We are putting our entire heart out there and hoping that it is met with the same kind of offering. But often, humans respond to our offering with things that look nothing like hearts and they pierce ours. But God will never do this. God has offered all that he is- FIRST- and we responded with nails. We jammed nails into the deepest cavities of God's heart and his blood was spilled. He has forgiven us for the things we do to his heart, all that we may give him ours.
I am learning to give him what I have, and I am so glad that he is able to take the bad stuff. When I offer my heart to him, he receives something covered in shrapnel and filled with poison. He is able to clean out the things that will not mix with his heart and make my heart one with his. It's like when I have a big ball of clean play dough and my buddy, Drew has a small one with rocks and dirt mixed into it. I have learned to clean out the dirt before pressing the mush together to form one ball. I don't make Drew clean it before returning it to me. But I do help him understand how to keep dirt from ever entering it.
If we learn to offer our hearts only to God, we will then see our hearts offered to others. This is because God is a God who loves his people and loves to give himself to them. When we are a part of his heart, and he gives his heart to others, we are given to others. We will certainly still be pierced, maybe even more than before, but at least we get to be pierced with God instead of away from him. We are told to take up our cross. Let's not be surprised when we see what it is used for.
When we meet with Jesus, we love. When we love, we give. When we give, we risk pain, that an other may be delivered from their own. When I nail a nail into Christ's heart, I no longer have the nail.
God is waiting in his room
for his people to realize
that He is in love with them.
Let's go together to become one with him and therefore each other.
Let's respond to His holy offering with our broken one.
Psalm 51.17
(Read all of Psalm 51, it's ridiculously good.)
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Sobriety
I am not going to write a blog post about how prohibition will fix all of our problems. If anything, I think that prohibition will create much bigger problems than we are currently facing. I am not a prohibitionist. The study of history has led me far from the prohibitionist stance.
I find sobriety to be a precious thing. When we are sober, we have control over our mind. When we have control over our mind, we are able to submit the control we have to an other. When we pray, we are essentially submitting control to a greater being than ourselves.
If we have no control, we can give no control.
If we can give no control, we can't submit to the will of an other. If we can't submit to the will of an other, we are selfishly living out our own will instead of that of the Father.
I am not saying that alcohol or drugs are wrong. I am not saying that being drunk or high is wrong. I am simply saying that when we are drunk or high, it is harder to effectively pray. When we are drunk or high, our thoughts and actions are not in our own control. When we are controlled by something else, we are not the ones who decide where the power goes.
Maybe we like to be intoxicated because we like to be controlled by an outside source.
What if we could channel this desire to be controlled in a better way?
Please be careful about what controls you. Money, drugs, girls, guys, alcohol, fame, credit, looks, and authority are all bummers when they are made more important than we are.
I find sobriety to be a precious thing. When we are sober, we have control over our mind. When we have control over our mind, we are able to submit the control we have to an other. When we pray, we are essentially submitting control to a greater being than ourselves.
If we have no control, we can give no control.
If we can give no control, we can't submit to the will of an other. If we can't submit to the will of an other, we are selfishly living out our own will instead of that of the Father.
I am not saying that alcohol or drugs are wrong. I am not saying that being drunk or high is wrong. I am simply saying that when we are drunk or high, it is harder to effectively pray. When we are drunk or high, our thoughts and actions are not in our own control. When we are controlled by something else, we are not the ones who decide where the power goes.
Maybe we like to be intoxicated because we like to be controlled by an outside source.
What if we could channel this desire to be controlled in a better way?
Please be careful about what controls you. Money, drugs, girls, guys, alcohol, fame, credit, looks, and authority are all bummers when they are made more important than we are.
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