Today I was playing with one of my best friends. His name is Drew and he is four years old. He thinks that I am way cooler than I actually am and frankly, I enjoy the self esteem boost. When I hang out with him I get to pretend(Publicly) that I am in space and exploring jungles and being eaten by chairs and pillows. I love hanging out with Drew.
We were playing just like we would any other day and drew picked up a toy and held it to his leg. No matter what I did he would make sure to keep his leg covered by the toy. I finally asked him what the deal was and he shrugged and said that he was hiding something from me.(Kids are honest, and when they're not, it's very obvious.) After much debate, I convinced him to uncover the secret. As he moved the toy from his leg, a small brown circle appeared. He had a birthmark and he was embarrassed about it. I tried to convince him that it was not a problem, but he was sure that he was defected. It was at this point that I remembered that he thought I was awesome and I figured it would be a great chance to show him my own "defect."
So I rolled up the pant leg on my left side to reveal my birth mark. I have a mark that I was embarrassed about for years. I used to put band aids on it and tell people that snakes bit me just to try and make them not pay attention to it. In hind sight, I guess snake bites were not the most effective repellent for curiosity. Anyway, he saw mine and ran his fingers across it. It blew his mind that someone of my stature would have such a mark. He found comfort in himself. (I now know why Thomas stuck his fingers in the wounds.)
It's funny the way that we are uncomfortable about the way we are made. I think it is one thing to try and cover sin with our toys and talents, but to try and cover our characteristics that are God given is just wrong. I want to address the issues together even though they really aren't the same. I am constantly trying to cover up the things I do that people would look down upon and I am also constantly trying to keep people from finding out that I am actually not that good at this or actually not that good at that. What a waste of time and energy!(I'm really ripping off Derek Webb with this last paragraph.)
What if we actually loved each other to the point that we could trust each other enough to be real with each other?
If we were able to be real, we'd be able to pray about real issues. If we were able to be real, we wouldn't be fake. If we were able to be real, we wouldn't try and find ourselves in other people or in other created things.
I want you to find at least one person who you can be real with. I don't mean for you to call them up and confess all your sins and be done. I want you to meet with them regularly and let them in always. Make your life theirs and theirs yours. Your hearts should be so in sync with each other that when one is struggling, the other is very aware.
I have a friend who I am attempting to be this way with. It was really hard at first, and kind of awkward, but it has proven to be worth it. He knows that I struggle with self worth issues and that I try to be smarter than I am. He knows that I am insecure about my "talents" and that I look for easy ways out of social situations because I am scared of what people might think of me. He knows about things I have done that almost no other human is aware of. He knows that I have been a slave to sin and that I am daily being liberated from this weak but pleasure filled hold. He knows my deepest struggles and he loves me deeper than any friend has. I know about his deep sins and about his insecurities as well and I pray for him regularly. We have let the Spirit break down the walls that we put up to block out judgement and love has stormed the city! We love each other in a way that I didn't know strait guys could. I will die for him if the opportunity arises.
I am learning that it is not until we can share in pain that we can share in joy. We can always share in happiness, but unconditional love that delivers an enslaved being evokes a power far greater than that of happiness. I am calling us to chase after joy and love because this is what the Lord has given us. Let's stop settling for happiness.
One can not be resurrected until he is dead! One can not be freed from something that has not enslaved him. If you are saved, you have been saved from something. By denying the sin, we are denying the redemption. By creating a lie, we are eliminating truth.
Life is in raw relationships. We must learn to forgive each other. What is is for you to love your brothers? Even the evil men of this world do that! Love is working when we can forgive the unforgivable. If He can forgive me and love me, so can you. For my sin is against God, and God alone; not you. Love will make this kind of living possible.
The truth is that at the end of the day, we all have our birth marks. Why hide them? Sometimes it is the only way we can relate to those who seem to be greater than us and in essence it is in these moments that we realize that no one is greater except for He who had no sin.
I believe that Jesus is holy and that in his death and resurrection he gave us his Spirit. I believe that if his Spirit is in me and in you, we will become one.
Read 1 John 1:5-10
Better yet, read 1 John. It's short.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
The Basketball wasn't Free.
Earlier today I was walking through the garage at my parents house. It is filled with all kinds of things that none of us need. I stood in the corner and scanned the abyss in search of a weed eater. I didn't find it, but I did find an old beat up basketball. It was white and orange and said "The University of Texas" on it. My mind immediately flashed back to seventh grade when I went to a UT basketball camp with my friend. He had sweat bands and I didn't, so I just modified some tube socks to make myself equal. In hind sight, I must have looked like an idiot. Anyway, I saw this basketball and immediately remembered that I had gotten it for free when I completed the week of camp. When I got the ball, I was extremely excited and used it until it was smooth like a watermelon. It was the ball that I used the most and it was the one ball that made me better at what I loved to do. I had a great court ball that never touched the street, but I didn't care about its perfection anymore. The white and orange one was special and It was FREE!!!
Now that I am older I know that my parents paid for the ball when they paid for the camp. The ball isn't as cool now. It was the type of ball that no one would ever buy, but in the event that it was free, it would be cool. (Kind of like AOL CDs.) The thing is, I spent lots of time with that ball. It was my favorite even though it wasn't my best.
God bought me this life and it's about time I stop acting like it was free. It isn't something that I get at the end of camp because my father paid enough money. It is something that my father offered and that I accepted. I have access to it NOW. It is a present blessing and a future reality.
My life is far from perfect. It isn't thick with leather and it hasn't only been used on a shiny court. It is beat up and smooth and shaped like a watermelon because cars have run over it. But dad gummit, this life was bought for me and I want to start treating it this way.
Let's stop thinking that life was free. Life has been invented, stolen, bought back and given to us.
Do us all a favor and USE YOURS.
Now that I am older I know that my parents paid for the ball when they paid for the camp. The ball isn't as cool now. It was the type of ball that no one would ever buy, but in the event that it was free, it would be cool. (Kind of like AOL CDs.) The thing is, I spent lots of time with that ball. It was my favorite even though it wasn't my best.
God bought me this life and it's about time I stop acting like it was free. It isn't something that I get at the end of camp because my father paid enough money. It is something that my father offered and that I accepted. I have access to it NOW. It is a present blessing and a future reality.
My life is far from perfect. It isn't thick with leather and it hasn't only been used on a shiny court. It is beat up and smooth and shaped like a watermelon because cars have run over it. But dad gummit, this life was bought for me and I want to start treating it this way.
Let's stop thinking that life was free. Life has been invented, stolen, bought back and given to us.
Do us all a favor and USE YOURS.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Turn the other Cheek? But that hurts!
"If your God makes war,
then he's no God I know.
Because Christ
would not send boys to die."
-A.A. Bondy (American Hearts)
While I love this song and I love this album, I have to confess that I don't agree with Bondy's logic. I do agree that God does not make war, but I don't agree with the second part of the statement. I would say that Christ would not send boys to kill. For me to say that Christ would never send boys to die would be for me to deny the line of martyrs who have kept this movement going. It would be for me to deny Christ's act of mercy.
I believe that Christ died. I believe that he had the ability not to, and that he didn't really want to. He asked the father to pass the cup from him. I believe that a strong message in the gospel is the one of submission. Christ's death was the ultimate example of submission. Many people died much more painful deaths than the one Christ did. So if your faith is rooted in the message of The Passion of the Christ, I would encourage you to rethink things a bit. To me, a god- The God, stepping down to a level far below his, and then letting the inhabitants of this level kill him, is much more powerful of a statement than the blood and guts that were spilled in the process. Don't misunderstand me here, I don't mean to say that the cross style of death should be treated as insignificant. I am simply saying that the fact that He died means more to me than the way that He died.
Christ set an example for us.
He trusted that the father had things under control.(?)
He chose not to exercise his power over the people as an act of love for them.(?)
I think it is safe to say that we don't trust and that we do exercise power because if we do trust and don't exercise power, we will certainly die. We are living a life rooted in fear. When people say things like "well you just have to take up your cross." in response to a stressful social issue, I am enraged. I don't think they realize what this means. This is a call to die. This isn't saying that when ever life gets hard, we are to label it as persecution and let it be our cross. Life is hard for everyone- Christians too. The difference is that Christians have a hope in death. My buddy Ben said to me once, "You're not defined by the ways you fall, but by the ways you get back up."
Taking up your cross means to submit your will and life to an other. (This means that their life is now more important than your own. If we live like this, how can we possibly kill?!) I have heard a story about a guy who is no longer an active BLOOD member, but is still technically in the gang. We will call him Steve. He has recently found Christ and is walking closely with some college Christians in this. He recently presented a concern to his new friends. He told them that when a BLOOD member joins a religion or an other gang, his former members will track him down and beat him with bats and chains. He is very scared for his life. One of his friends, we'll call him Fred, has told this ex-gang member that he will walk with him at all times. Fred has committed to being a part of the beating when it happens. He might die a the hands of hate filled men, all for something that he didn't even do. But what an act of love to my boy Steve! This is what Christ does for us.
Christ had every right to fight back. The men who killed him were doing so with hate in their eyes and it was unjust. Imagine what it would be like if we chose to submit as Christ did! The world wouldn't know what to do with us!
To take up your cross is to walk into danger for the sake of an other. (Many will back up being a soldier with this. I won't.)
To take up your cross is not to fear other men so much that you will fly across the ocean and kill them before they can kill you.
Let's stop acting like it is our job to know and enforce things. If you claim to understand God, you don't. The God of the universe will never be understood by a man, and therefore any man who thinks that he understands him is a man understanding a god other than that of the universe. I can't stand the fact that we think that we are so right that we have split up with each other. When I drive around the city and see church after church, doing their own thing in their own bubble, I get this feeling like something is wrong. The gospel of Jesus Christ is one of unity. This means that we can be different and that we can disagree, but we will still get along. This is what makes us different from the world. Our love should make people wonder what we are up to.
We shall be known by our love for each other, not our hate for the world. From the outside looking in, we look like a group of rule followers who can't stand our own kind and who advocate the hate of the other kinds.
Let's love one an other. The Spirit of God, through Jesus Christ, is the only way. It is the only way. Let's start by submitting to one an other. It will be hard. Submitting could mean that even when your idea is better, you go with an other one. I promise you that if you prayerfully submit to one an other, you will find life and fulfillment in the process. My mom gave up a whole life to have kids. My life became more important to her than her own and in the process she had to watch me do some really stupid stuff that she knew was unnecessary. That is true submission. Ask her and I bet she'll tell you that she would do it all over again. When we submit, we love, and when we love, we submit.
If you disagree, make it known to me. I said all of these things because I believe them to be true, but realize that my belief is completely incomplete without yours included. I don't claim for this to be the only way or only idea and I don't want to fight. I am seeking peace among believers and as a result, peace in the world. I am a ligament in a body that has much greater parts. Please bring yourself to the table in a realistic manner. Real love will not be experienced unless we are real people. Let's love each other. I'm praying that we would learn to love each other.
"If a writer is so cautious that he never writes anything that cannot be criticized, he will never write anything worth reading. If you want to help other people you have got to make up your mind to write things that some men will condemn,"
-Thomas Merton.
Thank you for reading. I love you.
then he's no God I know.
Because Christ
would not send boys to die."
-A.A. Bondy (American Hearts)
While I love this song and I love this album, I have to confess that I don't agree with Bondy's logic. I do agree that God does not make war, but I don't agree with the second part of the statement. I would say that Christ would not send boys to kill. For me to say that Christ would never send boys to die would be for me to deny the line of martyrs who have kept this movement going. It would be for me to deny Christ's act of mercy.
I believe that Christ died. I believe that he had the ability not to, and that he didn't really want to. He asked the father to pass the cup from him. I believe that a strong message in the gospel is the one of submission. Christ's death was the ultimate example of submission. Many people died much more painful deaths than the one Christ did. So if your faith is rooted in the message of The Passion of the Christ, I would encourage you to rethink things a bit. To me, a god- The God, stepping down to a level far below his, and then letting the inhabitants of this level kill him, is much more powerful of a statement than the blood and guts that were spilled in the process. Don't misunderstand me here, I don't mean to say that the cross style of death should be treated as insignificant. I am simply saying that the fact that He died means more to me than the way that He died.
Christ set an example for us.
He trusted that the father had things under control.(?)
He chose not to exercise his power over the people as an act of love for them.(?)
I think it is safe to say that we don't trust and that we do exercise power because if we do trust and don't exercise power, we will certainly die. We are living a life rooted in fear. When people say things like "well you just have to take up your cross." in response to a stressful social issue, I am enraged. I don't think they realize what this means. This is a call to die. This isn't saying that when ever life gets hard, we are to label it as persecution and let it be our cross. Life is hard for everyone- Christians too. The difference is that Christians have a hope in death. My buddy Ben said to me once, "You're not defined by the ways you fall, but by the ways you get back up."
Taking up your cross means to submit your will and life to an other. (This means that their life is now more important than your own. If we live like this, how can we possibly kill?!) I have heard a story about a guy who is no longer an active BLOOD member, but is still technically in the gang. We will call him Steve. He has recently found Christ and is walking closely with some college Christians in this. He recently presented a concern to his new friends. He told them that when a BLOOD member joins a religion or an other gang, his former members will track him down and beat him with bats and chains. He is very scared for his life. One of his friends, we'll call him Fred, has told this ex-gang member that he will walk with him at all times. Fred has committed to being a part of the beating when it happens. He might die a the hands of hate filled men, all for something that he didn't even do. But what an act of love to my boy Steve! This is what Christ does for us.
Christ had every right to fight back. The men who killed him were doing so with hate in their eyes and it was unjust. Imagine what it would be like if we chose to submit as Christ did! The world wouldn't know what to do with us!
To take up your cross is to walk into danger for the sake of an other. (Many will back up being a soldier with this. I won't.)
To take up your cross is not to fear other men so much that you will fly across the ocean and kill them before they can kill you.
Let's stop acting like it is our job to know and enforce things. If you claim to understand God, you don't. The God of the universe will never be understood by a man, and therefore any man who thinks that he understands him is a man understanding a god other than that of the universe. I can't stand the fact that we think that we are so right that we have split up with each other. When I drive around the city and see church after church, doing their own thing in their own bubble, I get this feeling like something is wrong. The gospel of Jesus Christ is one of unity. This means that we can be different and that we can disagree, but we will still get along. This is what makes us different from the world. Our love should make people wonder what we are up to.
We shall be known by our love for each other, not our hate for the world. From the outside looking in, we look like a group of rule followers who can't stand our own kind and who advocate the hate of the other kinds.
Let's love one an other. The Spirit of God, through Jesus Christ, is the only way. It is the only way. Let's start by submitting to one an other. It will be hard. Submitting could mean that even when your idea is better, you go with an other one. I promise you that if you prayerfully submit to one an other, you will find life and fulfillment in the process. My mom gave up a whole life to have kids. My life became more important to her than her own and in the process she had to watch me do some really stupid stuff that she knew was unnecessary. That is true submission. Ask her and I bet she'll tell you that she would do it all over again. When we submit, we love, and when we love, we submit.
If you disagree, make it known to me. I said all of these things because I believe them to be true, but realize that my belief is completely incomplete without yours included. I don't claim for this to be the only way or only idea and I don't want to fight. I am seeking peace among believers and as a result, peace in the world. I am a ligament in a body that has much greater parts. Please bring yourself to the table in a realistic manner. Real love will not be experienced unless we are real people. Let's love each other. I'm praying that we would learn to love each other.
"If a writer is so cautious that he never writes anything that cannot be criticized, he will never write anything worth reading. If you want to help other people you have got to make up your mind to write things that some men will condemn,"
-Thomas Merton.
Thank you for reading. I love you.
Monday, May 3, 2010
It's Naked Time.
I am not surprised that Adam and Eve put clothes on when they noticed that they were naked.
While being naked is amazing and liberating, it is also scary. Very scary. It's who we are.
But if we never get naked, we'll never make babies.
Therefore, we must get naked and be naked to each other. I am sitting next to my friend, Wes, and we just told each other a whole lot about ourselves. We uncovered sins that have been hidden since they happened, and it was scary, but liberating.
In a sense- a very real sense, we became naked. We shed all of the crap that we have wrapped ourselves in and as a result, our true selves, that we ourselves have never seen, were exposed. It was amazing.
True love is experienced when you are looking at someone else with such intensity and fascination that you can't even think about yourself.
What I mean is this: When you have a penis, a vagina is incredibly fascinating. The opposite it also true(so I hear). When a naked man is standing before a naked woman, they both completely stop thinking about their own nakedness and focus on the naked beauty of the other. This is why we must not taint our minds and hearts with pornography. If we constantly focus our eyes on pornography, we get used to the opposite gender. When we get used to it, it is nothing special to us. When it is nothing special to us, we have to look into our own minds to find new ideas to feed our fix. It is at this point that we have become self-centered people who are owned by our own desires. Not to mention, porn is unrealistic!
While this whole sexual thing is true, I want to address a social thing instead. Back to Wes and I. As we stripped ourselves down, we began to see things in each other that we have never found within ourselves. It was incredible to see how beautifully this guy was made! I was so in love with who he was that I began to have no fear of revealing who I am to him. Like biological reproduction, two parties carried unique things to the table, and mixed to create an ultimate product. Our relationship is the child that is created when we are connected by the Holy Spirit living in us. This child is its own being with its own characteristics that are completely unique to this conception. It grows on its own but is constantly cultivated by the two of us. It mingles with the other children and effects them completely. As we grow, so does it and it begins to amaze us with its beauty.
Please seek purity in your hearts. The pure hearted are the ones who get to see God. God wants us to see him, why else would he have showed up here in a man-suit?! Not only is he capable of purifying our hearts, he is willing! He desires for us to strip away the mortal clothes and live as immortal beings who are not afraid of the grave. As long as we wear mortal clothes, we will judge mortal clothes. If we want to make this work, we must trust each other enough to be who we are around each other. We must be able to drop our rocks that the other person deserves to get thrown at them and trust that they will drop the rocks that should be thrown at us.
Be real with each other. It is really cool. What is love if it is limited to good things? What is a pond if it is limited to what you can see from the land? Of course we love the good things, so do the tax collectors, but what if we were able to love the quirks about a person? What if we were able to love the people nailing us to a cross?! We can through the blood of Jesus Christ, our Lord who cared enough to die. I have seen small glimpses of this love and they have been the best glimpses of anything I have ever seen.
One thing I know for sure is that we can't do this alone. I am only able to truly love when that special girl is standing before me with such perfection that I have forgotten all personal desires except for the one to let her know how amazingly she is built. While marriage is the easy example, we must find this passion for every other human being. We are all made by God and therefore we are all hiding things that will blow each others' minds when we let Him uncover them.
Let's get naked.
(Please know that I am aware of my ignorance. I am simply wondering.)
While being naked is amazing and liberating, it is also scary. Very scary. It's who we are.
But if we never get naked, we'll never make babies.
Therefore, we must get naked and be naked to each other. I am sitting next to my friend, Wes, and we just told each other a whole lot about ourselves. We uncovered sins that have been hidden since they happened, and it was scary, but liberating.
In a sense- a very real sense, we became naked. We shed all of the crap that we have wrapped ourselves in and as a result, our true selves, that we ourselves have never seen, were exposed. It was amazing.
True love is experienced when you are looking at someone else with such intensity and fascination that you can't even think about yourself.
What I mean is this: When you have a penis, a vagina is incredibly fascinating. The opposite it also true(so I hear). When a naked man is standing before a naked woman, they both completely stop thinking about their own nakedness and focus on the naked beauty of the other. This is why we must not taint our minds and hearts with pornography. If we constantly focus our eyes on pornography, we get used to the opposite gender. When we get used to it, it is nothing special to us. When it is nothing special to us, we have to look into our own minds to find new ideas to feed our fix. It is at this point that we have become self-centered people who are owned by our own desires. Not to mention, porn is unrealistic!
While this whole sexual thing is true, I want to address a social thing instead. Back to Wes and I. As we stripped ourselves down, we began to see things in each other that we have never found within ourselves. It was incredible to see how beautifully this guy was made! I was so in love with who he was that I began to have no fear of revealing who I am to him. Like biological reproduction, two parties carried unique things to the table, and mixed to create an ultimate product. Our relationship is the child that is created when we are connected by the Holy Spirit living in us. This child is its own being with its own characteristics that are completely unique to this conception. It grows on its own but is constantly cultivated by the two of us. It mingles with the other children and effects them completely. As we grow, so does it and it begins to amaze us with its beauty.
Please seek purity in your hearts. The pure hearted are the ones who get to see God. God wants us to see him, why else would he have showed up here in a man-suit?! Not only is he capable of purifying our hearts, he is willing! He desires for us to strip away the mortal clothes and live as immortal beings who are not afraid of the grave. As long as we wear mortal clothes, we will judge mortal clothes. If we want to make this work, we must trust each other enough to be who we are around each other. We must be able to drop our rocks that the other person deserves to get thrown at them and trust that they will drop the rocks that should be thrown at us.
Be real with each other. It is really cool. What is love if it is limited to good things? What is a pond if it is limited to what you can see from the land? Of course we love the good things, so do the tax collectors, but what if we were able to love the quirks about a person? What if we were able to love the people nailing us to a cross?! We can through the blood of Jesus Christ, our Lord who cared enough to die. I have seen small glimpses of this love and they have been the best glimpses of anything I have ever seen.
One thing I know for sure is that we can't do this alone. I am only able to truly love when that special girl is standing before me with such perfection that I have forgotten all personal desires except for the one to let her know how amazingly she is built. While marriage is the easy example, we must find this passion for every other human being. We are all made by God and therefore we are all hiding things that will blow each others' minds when we let Him uncover them.
Let's get naked.
(Please know that I am aware of my ignorance. I am simply wondering.)
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